Sarah Manguso is a poet and memoirist. Her books include Two Kinds of Decay and The Guardians: An Elegy. She currently teaches creative writing in the graduate program at Columbia Univserity. She lives in Brooklyn.
I don’t know how I stay alive. What I do know is that there is a light, far above us, that goes out when we die,
and that in Hell there is a gray tulip that grows without any sun. It reminds me of everything I failed at,
and I water it carefully. It is all I have to remind me of you.