Ramon Del Valle-Inclan was a Spanish author of modernist novels and experimental plays. He lost his arm in a fight with another writer.
"The interrogation continues. 'What is your name?' 'And yours?' The audience breaks out into laughter, while the magistrate firmly pounds the table with his bell. 'Defendant!' 'You have to understand,' says the smiling defendant, 'It's less absurd that I ask you your name, than it is for you to ask me mine.' Valle-Inclán gestures to the crowd in attendance. 'All these gentlemen know perfectly well who I am, and yet in your case I'm pretty sure...' 'Order! Order!'
'What's your profession?' 'Coronel General of the Armies.' 'That title doesn't exist in the Spanish military!' 'Coronel General of the Armies of Countries in the hot zone...' 'And which countries are those?' 'It's going to be really difficult for me to explain to you. If you had some sense of geography...' 'Order, defendant!'"
— Excerpt from court proceedings as reported in The Herald of Madrid, 28 December 1927.