This week on Dear Television:

• "PMS, Probes, and Power Plays, Oh My," from Lili Loofbourow
• "LaMourning Lamorne Morris," from Phil Maciak
• "Leading Ladies?," from Jane Hu
   

Last time on Dear Television:

• "Shiny Red Lame Special," from Jane Hu
• "Peanuts and the Perils of the Perfect Costume," from Lili Loofbourow
• "Good Grief," from Phil Maciak

¤

"Leading Ladies?"

Dear Lili and Phil,

If we’re looking at the race between New Girl and Mindy Project this week, maybe we should just call it off — chalk it up to lady problems. (Or is it lady “issues”? Are lady problems something ladies can fix? Are ladies capable of fixing anything, least of all themselves?) As New Girl seemed to tell us: when the going gets tough, the tough get periods. Well. Color me red, because things certainly have taken a zany turn for our heroines. I wanted to punch someone, plus these pretzels were making me salty for television that was less casually racist.

Now I’m not going to linger on the orientalism that made the bulk of the New Girl episode this week, except just to put this line forward for consideration:

I can't keep thinking of you as my magical best friend with no name. Joe. Tommy. Louis. Tran. Is it Tran?
 

Stop.

But then I read Lili’s leveled and reflective review of these episodes, and specifically this line regarding New Girl: “Better menstruation than a nitwit.” Lili, I couldn’t agree more. Then Phil came in with possibly the biggest nitwit character in New Girl. Oh, Winston. How do you solve a problem like Winston?

Can we take a moment to remember Damon Wayans Jr., aka the original Winston (then referred to as Coach)? Or, as I like to think of him, the Winston that might have have been.

When Jess was getting to know her future roommates during the pilot, all three seemed equally primed to connect with this new addition to their bro set-up. Schmidt was not yet as quirky as we now know him, and Nick hadn’t yet become the main point of sexual tension vis a vis Jess. At one point in the pilot, Coach stands at t...